How to Help Kids Feel More Comfortable at the Dentist

Dental insights contributed and reviewed by John Busby, DDS and Gene Shoemaker, DDS
10/9/2026

If you're a parent, you've probably experienced it at least once… The dental appointment is on the calendar and suddenly your child starts asking questions.

Is it going to hurt?

What are they going to do?

Do I have to go?

Dentists see dental anxiety in kids all the time. The good news is that most of the time, that anxiety can be reduced with a little preparation and a lot of positive reinforcement.

The Number One Tip for Easing Dental Anxiety in Kids

The biggest thing parents should know is this: don't wait until there's a problem to introduce your child to the dentist.

Too many times, a child's first dental visit happens because something hurts. They have a cavity, they chipped a tooth, or mom and dad noticed something that doesn't look right. The challenge is that the child immediately associates the dental office with a problem.

That's one reason it's important to talk with your dentist early about the right time for your child's first visit. The Wisconsin Dental Association recommends the first visit take place after the first tooth appears, but no later than the first birthday. Every child develops differently, and a positive early experience can help build healthy dental habits for life.

What this does is establish a dental home, helping parents understand what to look for and letting children become familiar with the office. Sometimes kids cry during the appointment, and that's okay. It happens, and in fact, it often gives dentists a better look at their teeth.

Starting Good Dental Habits Early

Another thing to stress is creating good habits early. Parents should begin cleaning a child's teeth as soon as the first tooth erupts. As children get older, brushing should become part of their daily routine, but parents shouldn't assume kids can handle it on their own.

Many children think they've brushed for two minutes when they've actually brushed for twenty seconds. In addition, most young kids simply don't have the dexterity to brush thoroughly by themselves. That's why we encourage parents to stay involved, supervise brushing and help when needed. Timers can be useful, and many electric toothbrushes now include built-in timers that make it easier for children to brush for the recommended two minutes.

What Can/Should Parents Do?

One thing parents are often surprised to learn is how much their own behavior influences their child. Kids pay attention to just about everything. If mom or dad seems nervous about the visit, children usually pick up on it right away.

We always encourage parents to keep the conversation simple and positive. Rather than talking about shots, drills or whether something is going to hurt, focus on what your child will actually experience. Tell them the dentist is going to count their teeth. Tell them someone is going to clean their teeth and make sure everything looks healthy.

Don’t Tell Kids the Dentist Won’t Hurt

A phrase we sometimes hear is, "Don't worry, it won't hurt."

Parents mean well when they say it, but now the child is thinking about something hurting when it may never have crossed their mind before.

Keeping things neutral generally works much better.

There are also ways to help children feel more comfortable before they ever walk through the door. One simple trick is to play dentist at home. Count your child's teeth and let them count yours. It sounds silly, but children do better when things feel familiar. When they hear the dentist say they’re going to count their teeth during an appointment, it's no longer something new.

Consider Staying in the Waiting Room

Sometimes parents can do too much, though. When kids are nervous about a dentist appointment, it’s natural for parents to want to be in the room with them, helping them remain calm.

While this is done with good intentions and can sometimes be helpful, sometimes it makes the experience more chaotic and stressful for kids. When parents are in the room, kids can be distracted, looking to mom or dad for cues instead of listening to the dentist. In reality, many kids are more cooperative when mom and dad aren’t directing the interaction. So, consider staying in the waiting room. If you are in the exam room, trying to remain hands-off can help the appointment go smoothly and trust to be built.

Show, Tell, Do: A Guide for Helping Kids Be Comfortable at the Dentist

One of the simplest approaches we use with children is something called "show, tell, do." We show them what we're going to do, explain it in kid-friendly language and then do exactly what we said we were going to do. That helps build trust and reduces surprises.

If there's one message for parents to take away, it's that prevention really does make a difference.

Children who become comfortable with dental visits early in life tend to have better experiences later on. They build healthier habits, develop more confidence and are less likely to carry dental anxiety into adulthood.